item descriptions
fantasy
A Shimmering Key
It’s warmer than your palm. It gets heavier the longer you hold it.
Bountiful Basket
An assortment of various edibles. A little too much cheese for your liking.
Glittery Broom
It doesn’t seem to possess magical capabilities, but it does shine beautifully in the sun.
Probably The Worst Lantern
It uses a whole lot of oil without providing much light. Not to mention it’s unreasonably heavy and not to mention unsightly.
Izra’s Poison
He said to use it a bit more than what the recipe calls for.
Jack’s Beans
They look scrumptious, but something tells you you should eat them outside.
Ruby Rose
A beautiful specimen. It doesn’t look worse for wear, no matter how long it’s in your inventory.
Iron Helm
Sturdier than tin, but gives you a terrible headache on long wear.
The Crown of Sorry Ages
An extravagant crown worn by Stephan the Pathetic. While alive, he insisted it wasn’t to compensate for anything. As you look at it, you realize there’s no way he was telling the truth.
Your Favorite Mirror
You don’t remember your reflection ever looking this good. Or smooth. Or devilish.
Mythril Wand
Its power is undeniable, but you wish they’d gone with a different design.
Deontological Tome (Vol. 2)
You understand none of the words the book holds inside, even if it’s written in what seems to be English.
Caramel Apple
There’s a skull-like shape on the frosting.
Regal Amphibian
Slimy and unpleasant to look at. It looks like it’s pursing its mouth to something like a kiss.
Alize’s Spellbook
A book of spells you received from Alize Braithewhithe. Even though she told you she needen’t it, there’s something in the empty pages that begs closer inspection.
Amethyst Ring
A beautiful ring. The carving inside has an inscription “Til Death Do Us Apart.” It looks like it’s never been worn.
Unfashionable Hat
You should’ve thought twice more before picking this up. Please at least wash it before using it.
Despicable Isles Map
You know what a map is, you’re an adventurer. Why they made a map of the worst islands to visit, that you don’t know.
Glass Slipper
Beautiful but dainty, highly impractical. Feels like someone has placed very high expectations of the future on this single piece of armor.
Miracle of Masonry
Unusable in this state, the sword is tightly settled into the stone. Very impractical to carry around — you should look for a solution.
Get-a-Way Getas
Swift, but for some reason, the soles are solid wood and make a terrible ruckus.
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